God, In YOU They Can Be Whole

Whenever I drop my kids to school or soccer practice or to a friend’s house or anywhere away from me for a while, I always smile and say cheerily, ‘See you after school!’ or ‘Have a great practice!’ or ‘Love you guys! Be safe!’

But that’s not all I really want to say.

That’s not what I want to press into them as they leave me for friends and not friends and teachers and coaches and schoolwork and pressure and LIFE.

I want to say…

I know it’s hard sometimes. I know you struggle. It doesn’t have to be perfect, you know. You don’t have to be the most popular. You don’t have to be top of the class or best on the team. You don’t have to pretend, sweetheart. Please just be kind and do your best and be YOU and know that that is ALWAYS enough.

I want to wrap my arms around them until they struggle and press my love into each one so he knows, KNOWS how precious and loved and adored and ‘perfect’ he is to me.

But clinging tightly to them every time they leave isn’t a possibility, and I realize they will just look at me like I’m crazy and say “Moooom. Stoooop.”

So, instead, as they step from the car I give each a kiss on the forehead with my generic goodbyes, then as I drive away I pray…

God, soften their hearts. God, fill all the holes. God, lead them and guide them and hold them every single moment of every single day of their lives.

Because the truth is, I can provide two loving parents and a safe, clean-ish home and healthy food and an avenue for exercise and rules and consequences and expectations and medical care and a great education…

But try as I might, LIFE happens.

There will be pain and loss and failure and sadness.

There will be cracks and holes and broken pieces.

Because I am human.

And they are human.

I cannot make it perfect. And I cannot prevent pain.

Oh, how I wish sometimes I could!

But every day I can pray…

God, fill the holes. Because in YOU they can be whole.