The Shoulds

Ever get ‘The Shoulds?’

They’re everywhere, aren’t they? And isn’t it easy to get lost in the noise? Social media. TV. Parenting articles. YouTube. How-To books. Podcasts. Sometimes all we hear clanging in our minds are SO MANY SHOULDS.

Like…

You should get up every morning so you can pray or read or meditate or do yoga or somehow get a jump on the day.

You should go back to work so you can contribute financially to the family. I mean, you can do it ALL, right?!

You should get more exercise. Take up Cross Fit. Or pure barre. And also, run a marathon. Run more. Farther. Faster.

You should lose all this weight. And eat more fruits and vegetables and lean protein and healthy fats. And you should definitely cut out sugar. And gluten. And carbs. And red meat. And dairy. And soda. (And happiness, apparently). Actually, you should cook a four-course meal at home every single night so you can all sit down together as a family and do devotions around the table.

Oh, and this one is the most important…

You should spend MORE TIME with the kids (never mind you are with them hours upon hours of every single day). You should give them more chores. And more independence. And more challenges. And more space. And more one-on-one time. But you should always know where they are and what they are doing. You should do whatever possible to ensure they are perfect prodigy children…in EVERYTHING! But also, you should just let them be kids.

You should put your marriage first. Learn your partner’s love language. Have regular date nights and time away from the kids. And you should definitely have more sex!

You should Kon Mari your home. Find a system for all that laundry. Fix your bed every morning. And probably become a minimalist. But also volunteer, join a book club, drink more water, and get more sleep.

And you should really, really, really work on ‘self care.’ Why are you so tired?

I guess you should get up earlier every morning so you have plenty of time to pray and read and do morning yoga and somehow be thinner, prettier, healthier, younger, and more self-confident while volunteering, working outside your perfectly organized home, and putting your marriage first all while spending more one-on-one time with each child as you foster their independence and let them all just be kids.

Oh, and I forgot to mention…

YOU SHOULD ENJOY EVERY MOMENT.

You guys! No. Just NOOOOOO.

‘The Shoulds’ will ruin our ALREADY LOVELY LIVES!!

So, today I’m moving forward with only this ONE should…

I should just BE. Be present, be grateful, be healthy in the body I actually have, be content, be enough, be ordinary, be ME.

Want to join me?

Awesome! Now go be you.